Most people would probably say that it’s a bad idea for me to have started dating so soon after having left my husband. I guess I feel differently though. I was so emotionally removed from the marriage for so long after having endured all the abuse. I was already striking out for independence long before I actually left him for good. I feel like I was finding myself even though he still had a hold on me.
Meeting the man that I’m with now was unexpected. But it happened. I’m not one to ignore things when they are presented to me. I was given the opportunity to see what a normal relationship was like. He has stood by me through my pregnancy, through the ups and downs with my husband, and even through the period where I thought that I would leave him to go back to my husband. He’s an amazing man. we do things together that I have forgotten could be shared with an intimate partner. We laugh. We tease each other, but not in a cruel and hurtful way. Neither of us thinks that our own wants and needs are more important than the others. We have time to ourselves and time together. We encourage and support each other. We take turns with silly things – the remote, cooking dinner, washing the dishes.
I have no idea where this relationship will go. Of course I like to fantasize and imagine us being together forever. But I’m not pushing for anything. I’m just happy to finally be happy for once. He’s an amazing man. Especially to stand beside me through the emotional rollercoaster that I have sometimes been on. But even when I want to cry all day, I come home and see his face and everything feels better. Somehow, without doing or saying anything, he makes everything ok. I think that says a lot.