Lawyers: I’m still waiting to here back from The Legal Project regarding whether or not they will take my case. I’m constantly on edge. I would really love to just know one way or the other, so I know what I have to do from here. I want to be divorced. I want to have all of this custody and child support stuff worked out as soon as possible. I hate feeling like I’m living in limbo – not knowing what is going to happen to my baby after he/she is born. I want to know that I’ve done everything that I possibly can to protect this innocent life from the negative influence of my (soon to be) ex-husband. And the clock is ticking….
Guns: I’m feeling very under the gun in regards to being prepared for the baby. Work is throwing me a “suprise” (oops) baby shower on 4/29 and my sis and my best friend of 20+ years are throwing me a baby shower on 5/9. Suffice it to say, I haven’t bought anything or done much to get ready for the imminent arrival of this munchkin. I just hope there isn’t a suprise arrival! I’m really hoping that I’ll go into labor as close to my due date as possible. Of course, it’s not up to me, but I would really appreciate a little cooperation on this one. I think I’m more anxious now because my two friends from HS that were also pregnant have both given birth now. It makes me nervous. I hate going last.
Money: I just spent the better part of my morning trying to figure out my post-baby budget and my budget for the pay periods remaining before my due date. It scares me. Of course I’m not counting on getting any child support, so I’m looking at the numbers with only my income. Again, it’s scary. I only looked at what I make vs. what I have to pay out in bills and I don’t know how I’m going to do this. But, I will do it. No matter what, I will find a way. It’s just frustrating to feel like you try so hard to get ahead, and something happens that sets you back. I’m looking at things as positively as possible, but it gets really difficult when I start to wonder if I’ll be able to afford diapers and wipes. I just need to buckle down, account for every nickle I spend, and not waste on the things I tend to waste on the most (like eating out constantly!). If I force myself to make note of every time I spend money, I think I will really see how much wasteful spending I do. So, here’s hoping that strict budgeting will keep me from having a nervous breakdown.