The state of things

Well, The Legal Project is taking my case.  I am more than thrilled about this.  It was a hell of a wait to find out, but when they called Wednesday I couldn’t believe it.  There are so many reasons that I’m thrilled about this.  First and foremost, I’m going to have someone who deals with abusers like him day in and day out representing me.  Someone who truly understands the nature and cycle of abuse, and the way that these men will stop at nothing to manipulate and control everyone around them.  I’m also so pleased that my poor friend will not have to deal with his insanity anymore.  We’ll be able to repair our friendship, which he certainly drove a wedge into, and move on without the burden of the attorney/client relationship.  I’m also so happy that I’ll be able to do everything in my power to protect my baby from him once he/she is born.  He’s in for the fight of his life, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him get what he wants, even a little bit.

I realized the other day, that the anticipation of going into labor is killing me.  I’m 5 weeks away from my due date today, and I’m starting to get anxious.  I hate not knowing when something is going to happen – I’ve never been one for suprises.  My mother constantly reminds me that I’ve always been like that.  I used to read the end of a book before I ever looked at the beginning.  So, the whole idea of not being able to preplan when the contractions will start or when my water will break is a crazy making experience for me.  I know that it will happen exactly when it’s supposed to, but geez, a little warning would be nice.

Other than that, life is pretty much just going on as normal.  I get up, go to work, come home.  Nothing terribly exciting.  I’m beginning to really enjoy that.  I like enjoying the thought of coming home instead of dreading it.  I like the predictability that exists in my life now.  Of course that will all change as soon as this little munchkin arrives, but that’s the kind of change that I really don’t mind so much.

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One Response to The state of things

  1. Oh I am so happy for you! YAY!!!! I hope they get him good!!

    I am so much like you. I have to plan everything, I like predictable days. I have to know what I’m doing, where I’m going and when. I plan the next day every evening. Crazy? I don’t think so! It’s from being unsure of everything for so many years–never knowing when he was going to be angry/hit/yell/whatever. That constant feeling of being ‘on guard’!

    Yes, the baby will come when the baby comes. Hopefully you will be able to establish a routine fairly quickly and won’t feel like it’s so unpredictable taking care of the baby. 😀

    Anyway, keep posting. I want to follow this procedure right along with you.

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