Why is it so scary?

Well, this weekend has gone fine.  One e-mail from him yesterday, which I ignored (per my attorney).  But of course now I’m nervous that he’ll pull something next weekend when he does have her. 

I hate that I’m so scared of his crap still.  I know that it’s because he can be really unpredictable.  And I know that his bark is MUCH bigger than his bite at this point, but I still don’t trust him.  At all.  Especially with my daughter. 

I’m really hoping that we get a signed order soon.  Although all the intelligent people in this situation know that an incorrect, unsigned order that has been objected to and is still out for corrections has no bearing on the actual agreement entered in court, trying to explain that to him would be like talking to a brick wall. 

Maybe someday I’ll get lucky and he’ll just disappear.  But the one thing that he’s dead wrong about right now is that he THINKS he can control the situation, and he THINKS that I’ll still cower when he wants something.  It won’t happen, ever again.  I’ve got my power back in my life and I’m never giving it up again.  Except of course when that baby girl looks at me with her big brown eyes.  Then I have no power at all.  And that, I love.

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One Response to Why is it so scary?

  1. Keep your head up and keep going strong!

    The power of a baby’s big brown eyes is indeed a great power– a GOOD power. 🙂

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